Now I See You
Nicole C. Kear

Book cover image

Narrated By: Nicole C. Kear

Duration: 7 hours and 51 minutes

What to expect

At nineteen years old, Nicole C. Kear's biggest concern is choosing a major—until she walks into a doctor's office in midtown Manhattan and gets a life-changing diagnosis. She is going blind, courtesy of an eye disease called retinitis pigmentosa, and has only a decade or so before lights-out. Instead of making preparations as the doctor suggests, Kear decides to carpe diem and make the most of the vision she has left. She joins a circus school, tears through boyfriends, travels the world, and through all these high jinks, she keeps her vision loss a secret.

When Kear becomes a mother, just a few years shy of her vision's expiration date, she amends her carpe diem strategy, giving up recklessness in order to relish every moment with her kids. Her secret, though, is harder to surrender—and as her vision deteriorates, harder to keep hidden. As her world grows blurred, one thing becomes clear: no matter how hard she fights, she won't win the battle against blindness. But if she comes clean with her secret, and comes to terms with the loss, she can still win her happy ending.

Told with humor and irreverence, Now I See You is an uplifting story about refusing to cower at life's curveballs, about the power of love to triumph over fear. But at its core, it's a story about acceptance: facing the truths that just won't go away and facing yourself, broken parts and all.


Memoirs, Biography: general, Gender studies: women and girls

Listen to a sample

“Hilarious and profoundly heartwarming. Now I See You will change the way you see the world.”

Kimberly McCreight, New York Times bestselling author

“It’s too easy to praise a memoir about disability for its courage. Nicole Kear is much more than brave—she’s sassy, stylish, defiant, and funny.”

Domenica Ruta, New York Times bestselling author

“The only thing truly dark about Nicole C. Kear’s memoir is her sense of humor. Whether she’s saying goodbye to high heels, dimly-lit bars, and one big secret or hello to a loving family, you will cheer for her every precarious step of the way.”


“[Ker’s] New York accent and intonation are down-to-earth and clearly convey her lively spirit.”


“Kear is earthy and daringly frank in this never-boring, unusually illuminating account of living with diminishing sight as she, ultimately, takes a refreshingly glass-half-full approach to life…Funny and poignant.”


“The story of a woman navigating the life-changing effects of a degenerative disease…A tender memoir about love, life, and going blind.”

Kirkus Reviews

“You wouldn’t think a story about going blind would be much fun to read. Now I See You is moving, beautifully crafted, and unexpectedly hilarious. I didn’t want this book to end.”